Chapter one: A summary of how it all began – (the About me page if you will)

As they say, the best place to start is the beginning. My beginning. My beginning of My story. Alopecia and Bonono’s. Alopecia is me, and Banono’s is my family.

Bonono’s began before Alopecia. I dated my then boyfriend almost two years when a surprise pregnancy changed our world. Those tiny toes, little fingernails, and the perfect rhythm of a heart beat sealed our fate. Six months after the most romantic proposal and beautiful shot-gun wedding our baby girl was born. January 5th, 2016.

Beneath this romantic scene I’ve just described trouble was brewing. We were so unprepared and naive you would not believe. How hard is it to feed, sleep, and change a baby! Oh so very hard. You have to learn your babies cues, noises, and motions so you know what they want before the whaling begins. Unfortunately for the first three months, baby Bonono was not speaking the same language as us.

I failed at feeding her, struggled to get her to sleep, and she would not let me put her down for a moment. Daddy went back to work and mummy was alone with a baby she could not understand. I daredn’t leave the house for fear of judgment and lacked any confidence in my “natural” mothering abilities.

But wait it get’s better. There was light at the end of the tunnel. A 4 month light. When she hit this magical milestone everything just slot into place. She started sleeping through the night, drinking her milk, and my confidence grew. We were a happy and content family. Bonono smiles al round!

Emerging from the dark feels invigorating. You look back and think we did it; we got through it unscathed and stronger. Now all there is is light and calm seas. But unknown to me my body started betraying me silently, turning those calm seas into a storm of struggle and adjustment. The light was about to fade again. Welcome, Alopecia.

Alopecia began sometime in June 2016. I associated it with postpartum hair loss, so I thought nothing of it. But one day I touched the back of my head and found (to quite a shock) there was a HUGE bald spot. I was instantly diagnosed with Alopecia Areata.

To say I was devastated was an understatement. To me a woman’s hair, whether it be long, short, frizzy, straight, brittle, grey; whatever – signifies femininity. Women don’t go bald! They just don’t.

I went through a stage of loss and grieving, and introverted into myself. I cried as each hair fell and hated that the fun-loving and carefree person I was, was becoming sad and self-loathing.

20% hair loss, grew to 50% hair loss by September, which is now at 80%. It’s been a quick process that still hasn’t stopped. I estimate 100% loss of all old hair by January 2017.

I’ve seen many specialists both western and homoeopathic and reassessed my lifestyle changing to an AIP diet. Experts also advise me that it helps to keep positive and live your normal life because stress can be a trigger. Banono’s definitely helped with this. Their love and support were consistent and strong. (Thank you Bonono’s, I love you).

Even though my hair is still falling, I am happy to say our hard work has produced some magnificent tufts of new hair and a coating of grey fluff all over my scalp. I am starting to see a small speck of light in all this darkness.

So here we are. Up to date with where I am today. Bonono’s is the most magical and wonderful part of my life, and Alopecia is a small part of my life that I am learning to accept.

7 Responses

  1. Bellawyn

    Wow, what a beautiful first post. You really have a gift for weaving words and telling a story. I actually welled up with tears by the 80% loss line.

    I loved this story and its peaks and troughs.

    I love the ending with its positive nod.

    And I love the “I love you bononos” part. What a beautiful beginning! Do tell more stories. What has been most helpful about your bononos in this process (apart from them just *being* there)?

    1. Thank you Bellawyn! It is quite something exposing your ‘truths’ to the public like this. But it felt good to do…and even better to receive this wonderful comment.

      I will definitely post about the Bonono’s and how they have helped me. My life would be vastly different without them, so they deserve a post of their own.

  2. Bellawyn

    Wow, what a beautiful first post. You really have a gift for weaving words and telling a story. I actually welled up with tears by the 80% loss line.

    I loved this story and its peaks and troughs.

    I love the ending with its positive nod.

    And I love the “I love you bononos” part. What a beautiful beginning! Do tell more stories. What has been most helpful about your bononos in this process (apart from them just *being* there)?

  3. Margi

    This was such a profound combination of challenge and delight! And so moving.
    I am looking forward to more from you!!

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