#Personal: Dear Baby Bonono

Sorry for the delayed post! I have been struggling to write this post for over a week now. I’ve been finding it hard to articulate both the joys and pains of 2016. A year that baby Bonono was born (and you know how I feel about her!) and a year that brought fear, stress, redundancy, and loss of identity.

I have a dilemma and internal battle of loving and hating 2016 as passionately as each other.

My delay in writing this post means that we are now firmly in 2017, and my post is kind of redundant. So I won’t try to summarise 2016 anymore. Instead, I am sharing an open letter I wrote to Baby Bonono, who turned one year old this weekend!!!

 

 

To my dear darling baby girl,

You are one! One year old! A whole year has passed since that day you made us a family.

It’s crazy to think you’ll have no memory of this first year that passed. Yet it has been the most significant year of my life…because of you.

In a way, we have grown together. You learnt how to walk by yourself, and I learnt how to walk with one eye on you and one on the path. You learnt how to hold objects, and I learnt how to hold something so tightly yet so gently. You learnt how to say mama and dada, and I learnt how to love beyond humanly possible.

I may not look like the same mama you first saw. The mama your new eyes first focused on. That’s not because I now wear a scarf, but because I walk taller, hold my head higher, and smile so much more. All because of you, baby girl. You are the reason, despite life trying to drag me down, I keep on going. You make me stronger and braver than I thought I could ever be.

Time is flying so fast. I hold you and your legs bend to allow you to rest your feet on the sofa. But I can vividly recall how, only months ago, your whole body (legs included) would fit perfectly in just my arms.

I love how little things delight you; I hope that quality remains. Because as you grow life will challenge you. People will try to bring you down, and things won’t always go your way. I wish I could protect you from these disappointments. But that’s just the way life goes I’m afraid. In these situations may you retain the determination you already have in abundance and positively burst from your soul.

Every single day, for 365 days, I have held you, kissed you, and told you I love you. I promise, everyday you are with me, I will keep doing this. I am confident that as each chapter of our lives pass our bond will grow stronger, and our love deepen.

You have your whole life in front of you. There are so many possibilities. Just remember you have the power to melt hearts, influence minds, lend a hand, and better those around you. Wherever your dreams take you, be the best version of you, and don’t limit yourself for anyone or anything.

You don’t know it, but you have helped me through one of the hardest times in my life. Instead of wallowing in self-pity or spending my days hiding from the world, you have made me strong and truly appreciate the good things.

I love you my baby bonono, forever and always.

Happy first birthday

Mama
xxx

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