#ChapterOne: Soulmate

For my newest piece of creative writing I decide to challenge myself with poetry. While still a story, I have framed it using rhyming couplets. Let me know what you think of the style and the story.

 

Soulmate

Heads turn, mouths open, and I can practically hear a ripple of shocked murmurs,
For god’s sake! I’m not a stranger, and I promise I’m not here to murder.

Sure, I can understand why my presence is causing this kind of surprise,
But surely, as my family, some of them would have been expecting me to arrive.

Feeling awkward I walk in the church small and ashamed,
I want to forget, but I’m sure my dick-head uncle will happily remind and explain.
He’ll tell the crowds how I’ve caused the family undo-able hurt and pain,
And that I shouldn’t of come and caused this kind of strain.

My therapist told me attending would help me to heal,
She said: “Just attend the wedding, pretend it’s no big deal”.
“Your sister invited you – how does that make you feel?”
I cynically say “like her heart is colder than solid steel”.

Oh well I’m here now,
I’ll just suck it up and bow.

I walk closer to my family and approach my mum like a timid deer,
It’s clear she doesn’t want to see me by her greeting of “Oh. You’re here.”

I try to ignore the words, hoping it’s just a one off comment,
But she has already made me feel like shit and totally despondent.

I smile weakly at her and start to look around,
To say something, anything, but my words can’t be found.
Annoyingly, my mum gets in first, making me sink into the ground,
I wonder if she will say sorry or something more profound?

For some reason, at the least, I was expecting a welcome or perhaps a hug from years of being away,
Instead, I get “Your sister will be shocked, just promise me you won’t ruin her big day.”

“Mum I am here to try and put the past behind us,
To assemble some unity in our family, not cause a fuss.

“Of course darling, and I am glad to see you have changed,
But the drama of your last visit…my god you were deranged”.

I cut her off “Mum let’s not go there; I can’t keep explaining myself over and over to you”,
But before I can stop, the words come out like vomit – bitter and sour like milk that’s past due.

“She stole my soulmate and you couldn’t have cared,
I was heart broken when all the lies were bared.
Of course, I was deranged. I was angry and fuming,
And when you said nothing, it was like you were choosing.
You chose her, her lies, and her deceit,
Instead of me, your child that cried for years at your feet.”

“Oh honey, you were 17, a regular teenage drama, it happens to everyone,
How was I supposed to know how irrational and crazy you were going to become”?

I literally could have screamed and continued on,
About how I was lied to by my sister and mum.
But between breaths, I start to feel stupid, immature and dumb,
I will not do this I say, I will not succumb.

No more words are needed, we’d spoken them a million times,
My therapist would berate me for this and punish the crime.
Before I could go on the church bells began to chime,
Giving me a chance to pretend everything is still fine.

As other family members began to sit and fill the Pew,
I take my seat at the front and start to fester and stew.

Without warning or seeking any permission,
My brain takes me back to the day my life went into submission.

Ten years ago I was taken on a surprise dinner by the love of my life,
He was everything to me, I wanted to be more than his wife.

I wanted to be his brain, his eyes, his ears,
To know his thoughts, his dreams, and his fears.

Yes that does sound a little obsessive and strange,
I guess my mother was right when she called me deranged.

I was so excited about the dinner I wanted to look perfect and impress,
That day I even bought bridal magazines so I could find my perfect dress.

I know I was young to be thinking this way,
But a love like this is here to stay.

We were going to have 3 kids and a house in the city,
It was a fairy tale life full of joy, no room for pitty.

So as you can imagine, I was expecting that moment where he’d ask me to be his bride,
Instead he took my hand, and dumped me; a huge part of me died.

I begged and pleaded, but he told me he loved some other girl,
That was the night my sanity began to uncurl.

I may have stalked him for a number of years,
And until I was 18, literally every night, I was in tears.

I tried to discover the girl’s identity every day,
I’m glad I didn’t though, I don’t know how I would have made her pay.

How can I explain the ache and darkness that stole part of me,
It was like being a prisoner in my life pleading to be free.
But a shadow had gripped me and gave me no concession,
Even today I am still plagued by hate and depression.

Looking back he probably broke up with me because I was already unstable,
But him leaving me pushed me over the edge, he gutted me at that dinner table.

Five years later, at twenty-two,
My mum still didn’t know what to do.
I had become a ghost of the girl she once knew.
But then she got an idea, seemingly out of the blue,
Really the suddenness of the plan should have given me a glue.

One day my mum decided my Auntie’s house was a good place for me to move,
And I said sure, I literally had nothing else to loose.

I had no friends, no education, no life, nothing to destroy,
I was this crazy mess all because of a boy.

After nine months you might think I started to heal and become me,
Especially as I now lived a new life, with my auntie and the sea.

And it’s true I did start to heal, and my emotions began to level,
Until one day when a message arrived, delivered by the devil.

I went straight home with tears in my eyes, screams in my lungs, and hate in my vein,
How could this of happened, she saw how he had started my life of pain.

I arrived at the hospital to witness a scene that shock my earth,
it was my sister who has just — Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuahhhhh

“What!!…Oh right huh”

The sound of the organ snaps me out of the memories,
But looking around I am still surrounded by treachery and enemies.

My hands are shaking and I know this was a mistake,
I can’t do this, I’m not like them, I can’t be fake.

I jump up; I don’t care if I cause a scene,
They can say what they want, fuck them, I am this mean.

As fast as I can, I run down the aisle and out of the doors to be free,
And bam! There it is. I bump into my nightmare. A family of three.

My blood runs cold and I go pale like an animal going to slaughter,
I am faced with my sister. My soulmate. And their daughter.

 

POEM 2

3 Responses

  1. Caroline Cackett

    A very successful piece, the message comes across very well and there is good progression with a good choice of figurative language.
    I have now read it 3 times and each time i have felt the hurt of the story teller.
    Another well written piece .

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