#SelfDevelopment – How to rediscover who you are after a life change

It’s safe to say I have been through my fair share of life-changing events. In just the last five years I have…

  • Moved country (twice!)
  • Been made redundant
  • Had an unplanned pregnancy
  • …and so became an unprepared mother (and wife)
  • Became a working mum (the guilt!)
  • Lost my hair from an autoimmune disorder 

I know I have EVEN MORE life-changing events in the coming years like moving country (again!!), another baby (hopefully), and adventuring down a new career path. Annnnnd even further into the future, there will be the menopause, retirement, and my kids flying the nest to start their own lives!

Phew!!! It’s certainly enough to cause quite the identity crisis!!

giphy-downsized
Who am I?!?!?! 
Change can either be the making of you or the breaking of you!

Change is universal, inevitable in everyone’s life. Resistance is futile. The impact of significant changes can make a person question who they are. From my experience changes can either be the making of you or the breaking of you.

So the question (and the reason why you are reading my article) is, how can you rediscover who you are after a life change?

Unfortunately (and honestly) I cannot answer that question for you without knowing your situation. But what I can do, is share some techniques on five aspects of life:

  1. Positivity and optimism
  2. Self-awareness and understanding
  3. Goal setting
  4. Environment
  5. Mental and Physical Wellness

These aspects, from my experience, are ones that can help make your life change a catalyst for significant things like self-love, personal development, self-discovery, and most importantly joy.

1. Positivity and Optimism
  • Seeking Joy: Do not just wait for something good to happen to you, actively pursue it. It could be choosing the full-fat latte with extra cream, taking a walk to breathe the fresh air, or even book a luxury treat like a deep tissue massage. Happiness isn’t something that happens to you; you have to be an active participant. By doing this, you will be boosting your happy hormones and build your sense of self-love (and probably making those around you happy too).
  • Stress Journaling: Keep a note of each stress that occurs in your day. Note the time and rank it out of 5. At the end of a week, I guarantee you will notice patterns and common occurrences, as well those moments when the stress reaction was unnecessary. Life change brings up the feeling of stress, and this is something you HAVE to manage. It is your fight or flight reaction kicking in, which affects your sleep, compromises your immune function, and can lead to anxiety, muscle tension, and even depression. Bring awareness to stress triggers in your life and address them, if it’s in your control.

joy2

2. Self Awareness
  • Journaling and reviewing: Here’s my old friend journalling again! It is not just the act of journaling, but the (often overlooked) processes of evaluating your journal where huge steps towards personal discovery can occur. The best way is to set up a daily journal with reoccurring prompts or questions like: How do I feel today? What am I looking forward to today? What is on my mind?…etc.

    Over time you can compare your answers to reveal a crystal clear picture of who you are. You could discover life-changing things like your triggers for a good or bad day, what is serving you and what is dragging you down, a new passion you never realised, or areas of life that needs your focus.

  • Match your values with your life: It been said that contentment and happiness come from the alignment of life and values. During life change, you can become disjointed from your values resulting in stress, unhappiness, and lack of control. List your values out and compare them to different aspects o your life like work, relationships, self, health etc. Take time to realign areas that have become disjointed though goal setting. Which leads me nicely onto…
3. Goal Setting
  • Establish three month, one year, and five-year goals: Short and long-term goals will help you to establish the focus of your life, giving you back the sense of control life change took away from you. Don’t know what you want to achieve? That’s ok! Here is a quick exercise: Set a timer for 3 minutes, make a long list of anything and everything you want to achieve under the three different time frames. Once you are done highlight one goal in each time frame that will bring the most joy to your life right now. From here you can establish SMART goals to make them happen. Don’t forget regular journaling will help you to keep track of your progression and maintain focus.
4. Environment
  • Declutter your life: Clutter has been scientifically proven to raise stress levels – and we know life change is stressful enough, so simplify everything – your home, your phone, your relationships, your car, your desk! Do it all.
5. Mental and Physical Wellness
  • Learn something new, move your body, and eat right! This needs no explanation! I will only add, that during change it can be the last thing you want to do. I know, I’ve been there! But truly, please prioritise this above everything else. If you can only do one thing, do this! The investment you make in moving your body, eating well, and challenging your brain, will repay you tenfold in the future.

do what i say

Everything I have written is things I have tried and tested with profoundly positive results! These are not overnight miracles; it takes time and a lot of false starts. But I know it is possible if you truly want to capitalise on your life change.

Thanks to my history I have developed a real passion for the subject of navigating change for self-discovery, and it is something I want to continue to explore here!

I would love to hear stories about your life changes and how you rediscovered (or still struggling to discover) yourself. 

Thank you for your time! x

thanks a bunch

3 Responses

  1. Caroline Cackett

    If only i could express myself as well as you . So many people would benifit from reading your blog and sharing your experiences and discoveries.

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